Quantum Foam & Reprieve

Quantum Foam & Repreive
(Two Poems) by Edgar Gabriel Silex
Quantum Foam
is a bubbling cauldron of subatomic god
particles time decays boson by boson

it’s a bubbling froth of antimatter roiling
like fusion on the sun’s surface

it’s what we look like at the quantum scale 
everything is filled with energy

borrowed from antiprotons and positrons
inside the microtubules in every cell’s nucleus

wormholes through which we travel
superluminally like the Pueblo storyteller said

waving her arm in half circles We are.
And we are not. We are. And we are not.

a part of you in a parallel negative soul
makes your neural brain shimmer electrically

lighting your thoughts like a cuddlefish
alchemically camouflaging it’s skin

it’s how words arrive at a writer’s pen
how notes of a musical tune are written

get them down or they vanish sucked down
your synaptic bridges at light-speed

and evanescing in a parallel alternate reality
charged dendritic vesicles flickering

like neural Christmas trees lighting up
in an axiological instant to inform us

where our heart is it’s you but not you
that’s where a deer dancer becomes a deer

at vision’s edge We are. And we are not.
it’s who the medicine man searches for

lurking in our fractures Einstein found it
and mathematically tried to disprove it

but he couldn’t measure the spooky vibration 
between presence and omnipresence

between the empty mass of an atom
and the weight of the invisible force bonding it

quantum foam is the affine connecting mystery
with the logic of math that detects the unseen

which can undermine our perceptions our senses
We are. And we are not. We are. And we are not.

Heisenberg knew our parallel others existed
dreaming we see them awake we know only us

to fully understand yourself you need both
Neils Bohr believed while Schödinger proved

the mind can hold more than one thought
simultaneously though we can believe only one

Emptiness Lao Tzu said is what gives matter purpose
what makes the bowl useful what fills the atom

with relevance these immeasurable quanta
of Einstein-Rosen bridges in the nucleus

of each human cell that our consciousness 
continually crosses brings us inspiration

creativity our uniqueness is the essence
that precedes us as Sartre said We’re nothing

till we choose to make nothing meaningful.
our existence is but an electrical amassment

where parallel lines cross paradox I guess
it’s okay to die. We’re all just particles of energy. 

my grandfather said as he vanished into
the subatomic wavicles of his last slow breath

We are. And we are not. We are. And we are not.

isn’t it just like the heart attack to rekindle a love
that was dying haven’t said I love you this many times
since before I woke to you kissing my hand
in the darkness the light enters the room 
it’s almost as bright as your face smiling
the angers the yelling from just a few weeks ago
are hard to recall the divorce papers unsigned
on the bureau by the heart medication bottles
but nothing cures like the silence before you wake
my mind wandering to those days without you
when you stayed at your mother’s
in the empty rooms where the kids grew up
all the boxes are packed ready for storage 
if we stay here any longer we’ll hear their ghosts
in there laughing you lost weight but your breasts
are full as when I first kissed them you don’t want
to go to work you’d rather stay here with my phantoms
with my gnawed lips of worry biting prayers and hopes
you don’t die while I’m waiting in this empty house
where we put each other on trial truths pouring drinks
till the sunrise called a reprieve and we stopped
dredging up miseries that made your arteries burst
and you fell no farewell no last kiss no forgiveness
as you were dying feeling useless rushing
to the hospital where doctors cut your clothes
hooked you up to machines now I wait for your call
saying you made it to work got your nitroglycerin pills
every waiting minute is a reprieve from heartbreak

About the poet: Edgar Gabriel Silex is a Cum Laude graduate of University of Maryland University College and received an MFA in Poetry from the University of Maryland. He is the author of two poetry collections from Northwestern University Press, Through All the Displacements and Acts of Love, as well as a chapbook from New Sins Press, Even the Dead Have Memories. His first book was nominated for the National Book Award. His second book was a finalist for the National Poetry Series. He has received fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts, the National Endowment for the Humanities, and an Artist grant from the Maryland State Arts Council. His most recent work has appeared in the Weatherbeaten, Little Patuxent Review, Delmarva Review, Delaware Poetry Review, Free State Review, Fledgling Rag, The Broadkill Review, Gargoyle and Café Review. He lives in Baltimore, Maryland.

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